2 months old already!

Today the twins are two months old.  We just cannot believe it!  Time has flown, especially since the babies have been home.  We are just so busy.  One baby (Ella), no problem, one newborn and a toddler, still had some down time, but two newborns and a toddler, super crazy!  If one baby isn't needing something, chances are the other one is.  If both babies are content then I am spending time caring for and playing with Ella.  My house definitely gets put on the back burner.  I try to remember I still have a husband to care for and spend time with too :) 

At Hannah's first pediatrician appointment on Friday she weighed in at 6lbs 5oz.  She is gaining good weight.  I am still trying to plump her up so that she catches up to Hailee.  Hailee hasn't been weighed since her appointment two weeks ago, but she is definitely getting chubbier.  You can probably tell in pictures which baby has the chubby cheeks!  We had the girls newborn pictures taken yesterday.  They were SO adorable!  The session was about four hours long.  It was hard work getting both of them to sleep soundly and in the right positions.  They were naked for most all of them.  They had different headbands, hats, blankets, etc to add cute detail to the poses.  It was exhausting for the babies and me! I will be sure to show them off in a couple weeks when I get them back. 

We had a long weekend with lots of visitors.  Mom, Leah, and I took the twins and Ella to Babies R Us today for their first trip out all together.  WOW!...is all I can say!  It was crazy having them all out at once!  It took us about a half hour just to load them into the car.  Mom and I were shopping off of registries for some of the baby showers we have this summer and that was stressful enough.  Babies R Us is not very user friendly for registry shoppers!  Mom and Leah kept laughing about how I am going to look when I am out with all of the little ones alone.  After today, I don't think it will be for a while! 

I am watching Morgan tomorrow to fill in for Kim who is on vacation.  I am excited for Ella to have a friend over to play with.  It will be like having two sets of twins for the day!  Eeek!  I'm sure Morg and Ella will have a blast and get away with a little more than usual :) 

Hailee and Hannah

Hailee and Hannah

Hailee and Hannah. I don't know what they are looking at, but they seem intrigued!

Hailee and Hannah.  Exhausted after their photo session.

Momma and her girls

Ella and her sisters

Finally, our family of 5 is home together!

Hannah came home yesterday morning. I picked her up in the morning with Paul, Ella, and Hailee in the car. The nurses were all so happy for us, giving us hugs and wishing us well on our way out. I will actually miss some of them that I have gotten to know well these past 2 months. Hannah was in the NICU for 55 days and Hailee for 43.

The past day has just been amazing! The girls are just adorable together! They make all the same faces, same noises, everything about them is the same. Hailee is still a little less than a pound bigger, but once Hannah catches up I think it will be hard to tell them apart.  In the NICU it seemed as if they were two separate babies since they were never together but now having them together really puts in perspective that we have twins. It is truly the greatest blessing ever! They are so comfortable together and seem at peace when they are snuggled up next to one another. Ella loves them too. She keeps smiling and laughing at them. It is too cute!

It is difficult feeding them at the same time, but I assume I will get better at it with time. When one has to burp I have to stop feeding the other, which doesn't make her happy. I did tandem nurse a couple times now and that is pretty difficult! It was a strange feeling nursing two at once! They did ok sleeping their first night through.  They slept from about midnight until 2:30am in their cribs, got up to eat, decided it would be fun to stay up until about 5:00am and finally drifted off to sleep in my arms (yes, both of them:) until about 8:00am.  It is just the best feeling ever to hold both of them at once. 

Tomorrow we have Hannah's first pediatrician appointment and Hailee has to get blood labs drawn at Children's Hospital to check her anemia.  It will be interesting getting out of the house with both of them.  We have someone coming over Saturday to take their newborn pictures and a few of the twins and Ella.  I cannot wait!

Most of the pictures I have already posted on Facebook so some of you may have already seen.

Finally home together!

All snuggled up

Hannah and Hailee

Mommy juggling both babies

Daddy and all 3 of his little girls

Hannah and Hailee

Ella checking out her new baby sisters

Love this one of Hailee hugging Hannah

Hailee and Hannah

Hannah is pulling a Hailee..

Well, Hannah didn't come home today.  She decided to pull a Hailee and have one last spell before it was time to go.  I called this morning at about 5:00am and she had had a heart rate drop (a brady) with her previous feeding.  I was SO upset, to say the least.  At least Hailee's was a day before her discharge, Hannah's was just hours.  It took a while for the doctor to call us to talk about his plan.  When I did talk to him he said that the earliest she can come home now is Wednesday pending no other episodes.  Hannah's doctor that she has now is the absolute most conservative doctor in the NICU.  I know that I don't want her having brady's once she comes home, but another 5 days seems like forever when we've already come this far! 

I went to visit Hannah this afternoon and she is just so sweet.  She had just had a bath and her blonde hair was all sticking straight up :)  I cannot wait to finally get her and her little twin together!  I am trying so hard to stay positive through all of this, but it's getting harder and harder.  Today was the first time in weeks that I broke down at the NICU and couldn't help it.  Hopefully this nice weather helps the weekend go fast and Hannah is home before we know it! 

Little Hannah: Almost home!

Hannah should be coming home tomorrow!  We are so excited to have both girls home!  We are hoping that she can get through one more day in the NICU with no spells.  When I went to visit last night they told me that she had been fussy all day.  It's heartbreaking to hear, especially when we can't be there much to hold her now because one of us always have to be home with Hailee and Ella.  Her nurse last night said that they had all taken turns holding her yesterday to keep her calm.  I know she's just ready to be home with us!  Hannah did pass her hearing and car seat test this week.  We are so proud of her for catching up so quickly! 

Hailee is doing good.  Her pediatrician appointment went well.  She weighed in at 6lbs 9oz.  She's getting to be a big girl!  Her doctor said she's just perfect...confirming what we already knew :)  Hailee does not like to sleep for long periods of time, except during the day.  We are pretty much up most of the night together.  But hey, I'm not complaining.  I love spending any time I can get with her.  When Hannah gets home I'm sure she will join right in on our little slumber parties! 

With our time in the NICU coming to an end, I have found myself reflecting on everything we have been through in the past 7 weeks.  It is amazing to see how far we have come.  When I look back at the first pictures of our girls, I can’t even believe they are the same babies that they are now.  They have been so strong through all of this.  They have received the best care, even though at times I thought that I knew more than the doctors or nurses.  Often I see moms being wheeled in in their wheelchair or in their hospital bed to see their baby for the first time.   My heart just breaks for them when I think of how the next few hours, days, and weeks could be for them.  I remember when I was that mom and I will never forget that feeling of helplessness.  I remember the horrifying thoughts throughout our journey of wondering when our babies would ever come off of oxygen, waiting for test or lab results, watching the monitor as their saturations would slowly drop, trying ever so hard to get them to finish their bottles, and finally waiting as patient as we could for their doctor to set a discharge date.  I feel like it is a miracle that we are where we are today with two healthy baby girls. 

I feel that two aspects of my life have grown and are stronger now than they have ever been before.  First, is mine and Paul’s relationship.  It has taken so much understanding on both parts to try to grasp how the other is dealing.  There have been times of tears, silence, deep communication, laughter, humility, hurt, and love.  I would’ve thought before this that Paul and I could handle anything and that we had already been through tough times together.  Nothing even remotely compares to what we have just dealt with.  I am so thankful to have Paul in my life and realize that now more than ever.  Second, is my trust in the Lord.  I don’t know how people get through trials in their life without faith and trust in the Lord.  Without Him to go to in prayer on a daily or even hourly basis, I don’t know how I would’ve dealt.  When there is no one else to turn to, I have turned to Him for guidance and comfort.  I have trusted this entire time that He has had a plan for our girls and that He knows what is best for all of us.  Anything we said or did would not change the end result.  There was no point in worrying all the time when His plan was already made.  I often heard from friends that they thought I was dealing really well for the situation we were in.  Don't get me wrong, I went through some of the toughest times in my life, but above all I held tight to my faith and knew that we would get through this.  We had so many people praying for us throughout this time and without the power of prayer, I don't know that the girls would be in the same place they are today. 

I know I've said this before, but thanks to all of our family and friends for everything you guys have helped us with throughout this journey.  We are so grateful for the help with Ella, meals made, cards and letters of encouragement and congratulations sent, and presents for the twins and Ella given.  Most of all, thanks for the thoughts and prayers that so many have taken the time to give.  We truly appreciate everything and love you all! 

Mommy, Ella, and Hailee

Hailee

Hailee

Daddy, Ella, and Hailee

Ella, trying to fit one of Hailee's hats on her head

Still loving the boppy!

Hailee is home!

Hailee came home on Friday.  It was bittersweet picking her up and leaving Hannah behind.  It upset me a lot more than I thought it would.  Paul and I visited with Hannah for a while, did Hailee's discharge, picked up Ella from Kim's, and were home by 2:00pm.  Hailee's nurse was so happy for us.  She kept hugging me before we got into the car.  Most of the nurses treat the girls so well.  We have really gotten to know some of them well throughout this experience. 

We picked up Ella and she really didn't pay much attention to Hailee.  She would glance over at her every once and a while but then just start watching tv again.  Once we got home and set Hailee down in her carrier, Ella kept going up to her to look at her and then would run away.  It's almost like she was embarrassed.  It was funny.  Paul and I have been paying even more time and attention to Ella than we normally would.  The last thing we want is for her to get upset and jealous.  We have still been reading to her all the time, playing with her, and including her in everything we do with Hailee.  So far she seems fine.  She was a little clingy to me yesterday, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Ella is used to me babysitting and other kids being around, so I think that helps.  We'll see how it goes once she realizes the baby isn't going anywhere...and once there are two of them!

Our first couple nights weren't bad at all.  Paul and I picked up our schedule right where we left off with Ella.  I go to bed around 10:00pm after Hailee is fed.  Paul stays up for the 1:00am feeding, then I get up for the 4:00am feeding.  At the 7:00am feeding I just get up for the day.  We will see if this can continue when Hannah comes home! 

Hailee is doing ok breastfeeding.  I attempt every other feeding and then offer her a bottle of pumped milk to make sure she's full.  I don't want to try every time yet because I need to make sure she's getting her full amount (2oz) at least every other time.  Breastfeeding is more work for her, so sometimes she poops out and just seems too tired.  Hopefully if I keep trying then she'll get the hang of it.  I am hoping at least one of the girls prefers it.  It is a lot of work to be breastfeeding, pumping, and washing like 8x's per day.  I know it took Ella a while to really get it, so I'm trying to be patient. 

Hannah is doing well.  She is taking all bottles now.  They tried to wean her to an open crib the other day and she failed the wean.  She got a lot slower with her feedings and her oxygen levels started dropping with feedings.  That means that she was wearing herself out trying to keep herself warm instead of having the isolette to do that for her.  So, she is back in her isolette now.  Hopefully they will try again in a couple days.  Now that Hailee is home, I'm dying to get Hannah home more than ever!  I hate putting these cute outfits on Hailee that we have a matching one for Hannah, but Hannah can't wear hers because she isn't here.  Paul and I still plan to visit Hannah every day.  He will go during lunch at work and I will go when he gets home from work in the evenings. 

I'm excited for tomorrow.  Mom and Leah are coming down for the day.  I can't wait for them to see Hailee at home.  She is just the sweetest thing.  It's crazy that she is still the size of a small newborn, but is 6.5 weeks old.  At discharge Hailee was 6lbs 5oz and as of last night Hannah was 5lbs 8oz.  We also have Hailee's first pediatrician appointment tomorrow. 

Ella, excited for her sissy to come home!

Big Sister



 

Hannah



 

Hannah, on Hailee's discharge day :(




Hailee, ready to go home!

 



 

Ella, checking out her new sis

Already loving her boppy!

Daddy and Hailee

Hailee after her first bath at home

Mommy and Hailee

Ready for some food!

Ella, trying to help calm Hailee

She's going to be a good little helper!









Hailee coming home, take 2!

Little Hailee should be coming home tomorrow.  She was supposed to come home last week and couldn’t at the last minute because of an apnea spell, so we are hoping and praying that everything goes well today and tomorrow.  We think that she has just been holding off so that she can come home closer to when her sissy does J  Hannah is doing well, just not quite ready to come home because of her continued difficulty with feedings.  She is taking about 6 out of 8 feedings through bottle now, so she is getting there.  She does choke sometimes and then her oxygen level goes down.  Term babies do the same thing, they just aren’t hooked up to a monitor so you don’t know it.  Because our girls are hooked up to monitors, the nurses and doctors can’t ignore the spells.  Paul and I are so sick of the monitors beeping!  Paul swears that before we leave the NICU for good that he is going to drop kick a monitor into the wall.  I feel like I hear the beeping in my sleep!  It’s not just our girl’s monitors we hear all day, it’s all of the babies!  There are about 50 babies in the NICU right now, and the beeping is LOUD…so you can only imagine! 

We are so excited for our friends and extended family to finally meet our little ones!  It is so hard to have these sweet, adorable little girls that no one has been able to see and hold!  Not even Leah or Ryan have held them yet (only parents and grandparents can hold in the NICU).  As we are sure we will be having many visitors over in the next few weeks, we just want to make sure that everyone knows they should feel well before coming over.  I hate to be one of "those" moms, but it is very dangerous for a premature baby to get sick.  A preemie's lungs are the very last organ to develop.  They don't have nearly as many air sacs as a mature baby's lungs do.  Their airways don't have as big of openings, so it is easier for mucus to close them off completely.  If one of our girls would even get the slightest cold, it could send them right back to the hospital.  A mild cold or illness to one of us would be a serious illness to a preemie.  They would pretty much definitely get RSV and could get pneumonia very easily.  The last thing we want is to go through one of our girls getting sick.  So please, if you have even the smallest sore throat, cough, cold, runny nose, etc, please wait until you have been well for a few days before visiting.  I have heard of preemie moms making everyone that comes over wear masks which I think is a bit extreme, but we wanted to put it out there so that everyone knows the dangers associated.  We trust that people will make their best judgements when coming to visit the girls for the first time and for the next few months.  We are happy that flu season is almost over and hopefully warm weather is on the way! 

Sorry, I don't have any new pictures to share!  Tomorrow and throughout the weekend we will take lots of Ella and Hailee!  As excited as we are to have Hailee coming home, I hate leaving Hannah in the NICU alone.  I'm sure I will be crying on our way out the door for both reasons...bringing one home, but leaving one there.  We plan to continue to visit Hannah as much as we can.  I will most likely leave for the NICU as soon as Paul gets home in the evenings and can stay with Ella and Hailee.  We are really hoping that Hannah can come home next week or the week after at the latest so that our family can finally all be together! 

Little Hailee: Almost home!

As many of you know, Hailee was supposed to come home today.  However, yesterday she had a heart rate drop and plans changed.  When a baby has a "spell" it sets them back up to 5 days from coming home.  Mom and I went in to visit the girls yesterday afternoon and I could tell my nurse had bad news.  She said Hailee was taking a break from feeding and had a spell.  She said if it wasn't bad that she would've just wrote it off, but she did go pretty low.  I was so upset.  Hailee NEVER has spells!  I guess it was her way of telling us she wasn't quite ready to come home.  Her doctor said she can come home Thursday if she doesn't have any more episodes, but I plan to ask on Tuesday if we can take her home Wednesday.  We really hope to have her home by the end of the week.  Hannah will probably be another week or two.  She is learning to each much slower than Hailee did.  We are really getting anxious to have both girls home.  We cannot wait for Ella to finally meet them! 

Otherwise the girls are doing great!  Hailee never had to have the blood transfusion and her levels are pretty much back to normal.  She passed her hearing test, passed her carseat test, and went into an open crib, all in the past week.  They don't do these things until a baby is ready to come home, so Hannah hasn't met any of these conditions.  Hailee now weighs 6lbs 3oz and Hannah weighs 5lbs 4oz.  They are both wearing mostly newborn clothes now.  They are still baggy, but the preemie ones are too small.  The girls will be 6 weeks old Thursday. 

I had my postpartum appointment last week.  While I was sitting in the waiting room I was talking with two other moms.  One had a 2 year old with her and was expecting her second in August.  She sat there for 10 minutes or so telling us how busy she was going to be and how exhausting it was going to be having 2 under 2.  She was questioning how she was going to deal with potty training, jealousy, sleep deprivation, etc while taking care of a newborn and young toddler.  I just sat there smiling to myself until the other mom asked how old my child/children were.  HA!  When I told them, the woman that had been complaining/bragging (whatever you want to call it) just had this blank stare and neither of them could believe I already have 3 under 2!  Paul and I know we have a challenge ahead of us, but we are ready for the adventure!  We are really excited about having the girls so close in age. 

I don't have many new pictures of the twins, but I do have some cute ones of Ella getting ready for her sisters to come home.

Hailee, big yawn!



Ella putting her twins in one of the girl's new carseats



Ella in the carseat with her twins :)

Ella

Daddy and Hailee

Hannah

Ella having fun pushing her twins around the house

Trying to carry the playmat...

and my favorite of her playing with her baby on the playmat :)

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