Pink Bows and Pigtails: Little Hannah: Almost home!

Hannah should be coming home tomorrow! We are so excited to have both girls home! We are hoping that she can get through one more day in the NICU with no spells. When I went to visit last night they told me that she had been fussy all day. It's heartbreaking to hear, especially when we can't be there much to hold her now because one of us always have to be home with Hailee and Ella. Her nurse last night said that they had all taken turns holding her yesterday to keep her calm. I know she's just ready to be home with us! Hannah did pass her hearing and car seat test this week. We are so proud of her for catching up so quickly!

Hailee is doing good. Her pediatrician appointment went well. She weighed in at 6lbs 9oz. She's getting to be a big girl! Her doctor said she's just perfect...confirming what we already knew :) Hailee does not like to sleep for long periods of time, except during the day. We are pretty much up most of the night together. But hey, I'm not complaining. I love spending any time I can get with her. When Hannah gets home I'm sure she will join right in on our little slumber parties!

With our time in the NICU coming to an end, I have found myself reflecting on everything we have been through in the past 7 weeks. It is amazing to see how far we have come. When I look back at the first pictures of our girls, I can’t even believe they are the same babies that they are now. They have been so strong through all of this. They have received the best care, even though at times I thought that I knew more than the doctors or nurses. Often I see moms being wheeled in in their wheelchair or in their hospital bed to see their baby for the first time. My heart just breaks for them when I think of how the next few hours, days, and weeks could be for them. I remember when I was that mom and I will never forget that feeling of helplessness. I remember the horrifying thoughts throughout our journey of wondering when our babies would ever come off of oxygen, waiting for test or lab results, watching the monitor as their saturations would slowly drop, trying ever so hard to get them to finish their bottles, and finally waiting as patient as we could for their doctor to set a discharge date. I feel like it is a miracle that we are where we are today with two healthy baby girls.

I feel that two aspects of my life have grown and are stronger now than they have ever been before. First, is mine and Paul’s relationship. It has taken so much understanding on both parts to try to grasp how the other is dealing. There have been times of tears, silence, deep communication, laughter, humility, hurt, and love. I would’ve thought before this that Paul and I could handle anything and that we had already been through tough times together. Nothing even remotely compares to what we have just dealt with. I am so thankful to have Paul in my life and realize that now more than ever. Second, is my trust in the Lord. I don’t know how people get through trials in their life without faith and trust in the Lord. Without Him to go to in prayer on a daily or even hourly basis, I don’t know how I would’ve dealt. When there is no one else to turn to, I have turned to Him for guidance and comfort. I have trusted this entire time that He has had a plan for our girls and that He knows what is best for all of us. Anything we said or did would not change the end result. There was no point in worrying all the time when His plan was already made. I often heard from friends that they thought I was dealing really well for the situation we were in. Don't get me wrong, I went through some of the toughest times in my life, but above all I held tight to my faith and knew that we would get through this. We had so many people praying for us throughout this time and without the power of prayer, I don't know that the girls would be in the same place they are today.

I know I've said this before, but thanks to all of our family and friends for everything you guys have helped us with throughout this journey. We are so grateful for the help with Ella, meals made, cards and letters of encouragement and congratulations sent, and presents for the twins and Ella given. Most of all, thanks for the thoughts and prayers that so many have taken the time to give. We truly appreciate everything and love you all!